At some point in your career, you’ve dealt with self-doubt of some sort. Am I good enough for this job? Do I deserve this promotion? What if I fail? If any of those questions sound familiar, you’re not alone. Everyone goes through times when their confidence is in crisis and fear takes over. Maybe it’s something you’re struggling with right now. The good news is that these thoughts of self-doubt don’t last forever, and your worst fears rarely come true.
However, if you’re going to succeed in the long run, you need to believe in yourself and your abilities. Even though it’s not easy, it’s a skill that can be learned. This week we talk about the best strategies to help grow your self-confidence.
Remember Your Accomplishments
This is a great place to start if you’re working on building your confidence. In times of fear and doubt, it’s easy to forget all that you’ve done. But remember, you didn’t get to where you are today without doing some pretty amazing things along the way.
Find a quiet place where you can be by yourself. Write down a list of ten things you’re most proud of. They don’t even have to be related to your career. Maybe you ran a marathon. What about that time you got a promotion when you least expected it? Put this list somewhere you can see it daily. Tape it to your bathroom mirror or put it on the nightstand next to your bed. After you start seeing your list of accomplishments enough, you’ll start to think of yourself in a more positive light and begin silencing your inner critic.
Inner Critic
Speaking of your inner critic, everyone has one. And, it’s almost always your worst critic. Unfortunately, your inner critic rarely, if ever, does you any good. Sure, it’s an admirable trait to be humble but, your inner critic can be flat out mean.
To silence your inner critic, Dr. Lisa Firestone has some great advice. Start by acknowledging its presence. Trying to suppress it won’t do any good.
Next, listen to what that evil voice inside your head is telling you. Write those thoughts down in second person. If the thought is “I’m not good enough,” write it down as “You’re not good enough.” This helps your brain see these thoughts from an outside perspective.
Now, write down constructive responses to these thoughts using “I”. “I might be having a tough time, but I know I have what it takes to get through it.”
By practicing this simple exercise whenever your inner critic rears its ugly head, you’ll start to show yourself some compassion, which is critical if you want your confidence to grow.
Stop Comparing Yourself to Others
It’s a habit for people that are struggling with confidence to compare themselves to others. They look at everyone else’s accomplishments and think they don’t deserve the same for themselves. This kind of destructive behavior is poison for your confidence.
The key is to train your mind to think of others and what they have as equal to you. Yes, this is easier said than done but, it CAN be done.
Social media is a great example. When you find yourself scrolling through Facebook or Instagram, you’re looking at everyone’s perfect little life. That’s what they want others to see. The reality is what people post is a far cry from reality. Status updates get blown out of proportion. Pictures are photoshopped to look perfect. The list goes on.
When you can stop comparing yourself to others, you’re on the verge of realizing the self-confidence it takes to succeed in your career and, as a person.
Get Outside Your Comfort Zone
It’s human nature to want to be comfortable. It’s safe and predictable. Unfortunately, there isn’t much room for meaningful growth unless you put yourself in uncomfortable situations.
Think about it in the context of a high school dance. A boy has his eye on a girl but he’s too afraid to ask her to dance for fear of being rejected. The reality is, the only way he’s going to get the girl to notice his existence, is to risk being uncomfortable and asking her to dance.
The same goes for your career and life. If you want to grow and achieve your goals, you have to take some risks and be uncomfortable.
Contrary to popular belief, confidence isn’t something you’re either born with or without. It’s a skill that can be learned and, it’s necessary for your growth, success, health and happiness. If you’re struggling to believe you have what it takes to accomplish whatever it is you’re after, know that it won’t last forever. If you employ some of the strategies above, you might just be surprised by how much your confidence grows in a short amount of time.
